Monday, December 17, 2018

vent.

It was a beautiful day today.  I'm trying to tamp down my apprehensions about going to the hospital tomorrow.  I have very strong feelings (v.s.f.) of not wanting to step into the hospital ever again - but I can't quite tell if it's because of my seasonal blues or because I really hate the hospital.  I absolutely knew this part of the year would come (when it's cold/dark outside, when I feel like I should know more, but I'm still clueless a lot of the time and just like - omg, the patients are so, so needy), so it's not a complete surprise to me that I don't want to go to work tomorrow but, man, I just don't wanna.  I want to take two weeks off and spend it all under my warm, warm covers. 

******

I'm 10,000 times thankful I never became a doctor because I think the training would have killed me. 

******

Last week, I had a patient who was crying - like bawling.  For two days.  A young, male patient.  Called me every 15 minutes crying.  My boss found me somewhere and said - your patient in room 9?  he's crying, can you look into it?  I'm like - I know he's crying.  I've been in there 17 times and it's only 9:30 am.  We consulted with the hospitalist, we consulted with pain management.  I got him up to the highest pain control possible on our unit and he still cried.  I had to send him down for a procedure and I got a call from the PACU nurse who was like - he's crying all the time!  I'm like - I know.  I'm sorry.  She replied - he says he's in pain, there is never pain in the PACU, I have fentanyl.  I'm like, yeah, I don't get it either.  Mid-way through the 2nd day, he calmed down and apologized to me and gave me a hug as I was leaning over taking his blood pressure and said that he was sorry for calling all the time and thanked me for taking care of him.  Then, 45 min later, he was crying again.  When I ended my shift and said good night, he apologized again and said I'll be better tomorrow, and I said - I'm not coming back tomorrow.

******

I had another two-day patient who was pissed that he had a tube down his nose to suction out his stomach (which was clogged with green goo).  I got an order to pull it out mid-day, so I gently took it out and said - there you go!  you must be happy now!  Apparently this statement pissed him off and he complained to the charge nurse that I had attitude and she made me (well, suggested - she did this in a very nice tone to me) apologize to him.  Which I did (begrudgingly) and then promptly he switched over to hitting on me for 1.5 shifts.

******

I had two gyn post-surgical patients right next door to each other.  One a rather simple case, the other complex.  The surgeon for the simple case scolded me for not ambulating her patient in the morning and scolded me that the patient didn't ambulate the night before (even though I couldn't have possibly ambulated the patient on night shift since I didn't work the night shift).  And then three hours later hunted me down again to scold me yet again.  I didn't go into the gory details that the night nurse had 7 patients last night, I had the crying patient in the morning and my nursing assistant seemed to have gone missing and I had told the simple patient during the morning that she had to get up and walk.  The complex patient, I was in contact with the surgeon and the resident all day coordinating results and procedures and it was lovely and mutual respectful-ness and all that jazz (even though, actually, because it was complex, it was stressful too).  I was left feeling incredulous that on the same day - one surgeon thinks I'm a lame shit and the other surgeon is like - you are amazing!  I love working with you.  (Both patients were perfectly lovely).  Of course, I focus only on the one who scolded me.  Gah. 

******

I feel better now that I've written it down.

******

Oh, also the blood bank people yelled at me. 

******

I take the scoldings so much more personally now that it's winter.

******

Usually I think I take Ning and Noah out on walks, but today, they definitely took me on a walk.  I needed a reason to find myself out in the beautiful sunshine getting some Vitamin D. 

Untitled

Untitled

No comments: