Monday, December 17, 2018

holiday blues.

I'm tired and my regular seasonal blues are back.  I don't know why it surprises me every year, but it does.  You'd figure after 46 years of feeling blue in Dec/Jan/Feb (I'm sure I was blue as a three month old infant, lol) I would remember that it always happens and to give myself some grace, but I always end up semi-berating myself for not enjoying the holiday season like a normal person.  Hahaha.  I go through the same cyclical thing: I have a strong desire to stay in bed all day which I indulge on the days I can indulge, then I make myself do something and then I feel better and I remind myself that doing something always makes one feel better and then somehow I find myself tucked back into bed squirreled away under the covers again.  Then I ask myself what do you have to be blue about because, really, I'm #blessed and then I make myself feel bad for feeling bad.  Anyways, I'm fine.  Fine. I just really really want the days to get longer and the weather to not be rainy.

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My parents took Edda and me out for lunch on Saturday afternoon.  It was pleasant.  My mother ordered the mussels as usual.  We hashed out some end of life issues which, honestly, surprised me - both in the sense that we talked about it and also in the sense that they answered some questions differently than I would have guessed they would have answered. 

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Jeremy called me frantically Saturday night from the cabin campout because he thought he booked 15 flights on the wrong date.  He is planning the scout trip to Philmont next summer and he thought he had booked the return trip a day early.  I'm like - crap, I can't make him feel bad about this because no good will come from more bad feelings so I said (calmly) - don't worry, we'll just rebook them all and cover the change fees.  Even though, O.M.G.  All the change fees!!!  But then he texted back 4 hours, oh, I take that back, I think the flights are fine. 

Jeremy and Vince had total control over the food (which is what they desire at all scout events, but sadly, hardly ever have total control) at the campout which resulted in a delicious fajita dinner. 

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Mostly it was Vince planning the menu and cooking.  That boy loves to cook.

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Yesterday, the thing I made myself do was to finally put up the lights on the tree.  The tree has been standing in the corner naked since Thanksgiving weekend when Vince gallantly decided to put up the tree, but ran out of steam to actually decorate it.  So it was a little sad - a little Charlie Brown Christmas special looking.  But Eliana loves Christmas, so we turned on a spotify Xmas playlist and went through all the lights and ornaments which included little trinkets that Eliana first got us when she met us almost 10 years ago.  Very nice. 

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While we were putting on the lights, the boys came home from the campout bringing all the extra food.  So hot dog all around for lunch.  xoxo.

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