I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m working too much. I don’t think I’ll do anything about it for another 2.5 months though. That’s when I hit the 6 month mark at the hospital gig. I’m still learning way too much each shift, I’m not yet fluent in the ways of the unit. I feel like I need to wait until I feel that competency before I back off from full time. Everyone assures me that it happens – that I will feel so comfortable, it’ll come. Just wait for it. The question is will I feel it at 6 months? Or will it take me a whole year? That seems to be the range. But it means I’m tired, I’m not doing many things that I love to do and I had the space to do before.
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I had to head to Alexandria today for training. Usually training is online, but somehow I missed the first rounds of notification email and by the time I could find a date that worked for me, the only spots I could attend were in-person at the office. Actually, training in-person is so much nicer than training online. Even though the online training still has a live-person giving the training, it’s so much easier to ask questions and interact etc, in person. I used my office presence to have lunch with Andy which was lovely. (I was surprise to learn that even though Andy is 100% at the office, he still does all the training online!) We spoke a bit about Catholicism. He’s grew up Catholic and still goes to church but now identifies as an atheist. I grew up without religion and also consider myself an atheist and now work at a Catholic hospital and stop by at the chapel before each shift to pray (to who, exactly? dunno.) for the well being and safety of my patients, their families, my coworkers and finally myself. (When I’m anxious and feeling bad for myself, I will reverse the order of the prayer.)
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Ning had her baby this morning! On the way home from Alexandria, I stopped by the hospital (not mine!) to visit. I walked in quietly to find them all sleeping soundly. I couldn’t bear to wake any of them up – I’m sure they were exhausted. So I tiptoed out of the room and I was driving home when I got a text that they were awake and ready to see me. I looped back to the hospital. Noah is beautiful and perfect. I’m going to be a little selfish here and say that I’m so excited that there is a baby in the house. Ning is our morning caregiver for Edda, but she (and family) also rent our basement apartment. There is going to be a baby in the house! Our house is going to be full, makes me happy 🙂 I hope I get to babysit sometime.
You are a force.