Thursday, January 17, 2019

Mary Oliver

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

- m.o.

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I was pulling out of the driveway on Wed with Vince when I said - hey! You wrote your name in the snow across the street.  And he said - I didn't do that.  Huh, I replied, that's strange.

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Here's the snow that is falling after my shift tonight.  I made it 6 months at the hospital.  o.m.g. 

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Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Logistics & vacation.

Jeremy is in Seattle and I'm at the hospital on Wed & Thurs.  In order to pull this little miracle off, I'm asking Ning to do a favor and pinch hit for two days in the morning during her maternity leave and then Kitachi will do the afternoons into the early evenings.  I'm hoping for no snow days (there might be snow on Thurs) - but if there is snow on Thurs - Vince said he'd take care of Edda, though he said he could do everything (feeding, TV watching, making sure she stays away from fire) except the diapering.  Ning volunteered to backup on Thursday to partner with Vince so it'll be the two of them as she'll have a 2.5 month old at the same time to mind.  She's OK with the diapering I think, lol.  Anyways, Edda doesn't like pooping mid-day, so I don't mind Vince leaving her in an ever increasingly wet diaper during the day.  It would only be one day.  Do you know my new year's resolution?  To control my time again.  This is generally ridiculous.  It is a lesson in shift work though - the general impossibility of combining it with any sort of regular childcare.  I also invested in some microwave, easy dinners for Vince and Kitachi and Edda as I won't be home until late.  They'll be OK.  Mostly. 

Two more shifts until I head to NYC for the weekend - to celebrate our 20th anniversary only 5 months late.  We might get snowed out there too, we have to wait for the weekend forecast. 

Monday, January 14, 2019

Snow, weekend, posse, Seattle.

Jeremy is off to Seattle for a week.  We are snowed in Monday morning (kids are off) - we got about 10 inches in Rockville, way, way, way above the 2-4 inches predicted when I left for work on Saturday morning.  I was working both weekend days. I finally got assigned a "regular" weekend - every other, which makes it a little bit easier scheduling, but still not perfect.  Jeremy - thank goodness - put our snow tires on the minivan earlier this week.  Whatever money we spent on them years ago was worth every penny as I navigated 495 and 270 on Sunday night which were plowed, but the accumulation was really fast so I was driving in 2-4 inches of slush and ice.  Both the house and the hospital are right off the freeway, so as long as I hovered around 25-30 mph, I thought I would be fine.  As Jeremy noted - going at that speed on a slippery road, the chance of having an accident is high, but the chance of death is relatively low as everyone is going slowly and in the same direction and if you do by chance hit each other, everyone will just keep sliding.

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The hospital is strange on a snowy weekend.  There are nurses sleeping in rooms.  I packed a bag in case I wanted to spend the night on Saturday. The staff gets a little punchy.  All the "regular" patients seemingly have gone home - no scheduled surgeries and anyone who could cobble together a discharge skedaddled out of there before it really started snowing on Sat afternoon. This meant that for most of the weekend, I felt like it was me and my posse of misplaced souls.  We are not an urban hospital - so our misplaced souls are different from the downtown misplaced souls, but still.  Now that I'm assigned to a weekend, I have the coworkers I'll spend most of my shifts with.  Basically, it's the half the staff that I spend the weekends with and usually see during the week because no one wants to work the Friday or Monday before or after their assigned weekend.  I like my coworkers, it was fun this weekend.  Nothing pulls a team together more than being snowed in together.  Once you really get to know each other, it's nothing to step into another patient's room to help with admission paperwork or to hang a bag of antibiotics or check on a beeping IV when you are having a lull and you know that they are swamped when they've done the same for you.  I think I've hit a turning point here at the six month mark.   I know I'm going to miss it when I have to leave.  And I will have to leave.

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I want to thank Jeremy who got up early Sunday (45 minutes earlier than me - so that's 5 am) to shovel the driveway so I could get to work on time and to also pack a nice lunch for me.  He and Vince also shoveled during the day so I could make it back into the driveway at the end of the day. Jeremy also spent much of the weekend working - prepping for the summer scout trip and also prepping for his meetings this week in Seattle. 

But they did manage some snow fun:



Friday, January 11, 2019

ihop & snow.


My parents are escaping the cold tomorrow on a cruise, so they wanted to take us out to dinner tonight before they left.  But Vince hosts a Magic gathering on Friday nights at our house - so my dad said - invite the whole crew to dinner.  We were going to try to go to Matchbox, but they didn't have a reservation, then I suggested the new Shake Shack at Cabin John, but Jeremy thought it would be too crowded and then nowhere for anyone to sit and then Vince suggested the IHOP.  So my parents hosted a big party on Friday night at the local IHOP.

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It has a nice atmosphere, perfect for the occasion.

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Jeremy put snow tires on the van this week.  It's suppose to start snowing tomorrow afternoon and into the day on Sunday.  I'm suppose to be working both Sat and Sun at the hospital so I packed a small overnight (an extra pair of scrubs, some PJs, my own blankets and pillows and earplugs) bag in case I got snowed in on Saturday night.  I'm hoping because I packed the bag, I won't have to stay.  Both our house and the hospital are feet from the major freeways, so hopefully everything will stay clear.


Thursday, January 10, 2019

Update.

I had a fantastic two shifts on Tuesday and Wed.  Shifts where I felt competent in navigating various snafus when they came up.  Where all the medications were verified and sent up from pharmacy on time and all my IV accesses were there when I needed them. Where I had my favorite charge nurse and my favorite tech both days and I felt supported from above and below.  Where I felt like I was actually taking care of my patients and in many ways, they were taking care of me too. I like being friends with people for 12 hours at a time.  Lots of things happened - I wish I could write about them, but I can't.  Lots of stories, I like being there to listen to them.  I had that feeling of being good at my job at the right time.  I came home all excited instead of exhausted.  Good days. 

Monday, January 7, 2019

Doris and Jeremy get married.



Our wedding video.  I can't really bear to watch the whole thing, mostly because I don't want to see myself on video, so I will leave it to you to watch if you want.  So young!  1998, so I was just about to turn 26 and Jeremy was about to turn 30.  We did not hire a videographer.  A friend (Ding of Litian & Ding) found out and was horrified and did what he could.  I recently got it digitized, it was living on an old VHS tape.  There you go - you are looking at the best decision I've ever made in my life.  Everything else pales in comparison.



Sunday, January 6, 2019

Grouchy.

So grouchy today!  I have no idea why - just enjoying a good grump-fest.  To remedy this situation, I ate breakfast and I went outside for a few hours.  By myself.  Don't get in my way today, I'll snap at you.

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It is much easier to orienteer when you are out of shape enough to not be really running very much and then you are reduced to walking speed where you can take your time to read the map and your brain is not deprived to necessary oxygen to think about what the map is telling you.  I saw some guy use his iPhone compass to navigate.  I guess that is fine?  Its not really cheating, it's just surprising. 

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Sunday night dinner at Eric's house.

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Vince did not go to Sunday night dinner, but when we came home he wanted to teach us how to play Magic.

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